Welcome to my poetry page (EEK!)  This is scary to share but this is me so here goes.  Of late, I've been journaling as a way to process and move through past trauma in my life.  This is a poem that spilled out of me recently as I was journaling.  It's about surrender and releasing fear.   I'll be posting more of my poems soon so please check back.  And thank you for reading. ;)

       When I Let Go          

Written by Stacee Nault

When I let go

I set free a monstrous wave within me.

The powerful current rips through my body, crashing into blockages -

Inner dams where I hold my pain and my suffering.

The barricades ooze with inflammation, sickness, fatigue, insecurity….

And fear.              AND SHAME.

The fear tears free with the current and soars through me.

Raging. 

SHAME follows.  And they are off….

Surging through me with out care of the carnage in their wake.

My heart pounds, my body lightens then cracks….

I feel myself break into a thousand pieces.

I want to grasp, to fix it, to pull the pieces back together.

To resist the wreckage.

To regain the ILLUSION of control.

But I stay….. STILL.

I WAIT.        I TRUST.    

Because I’ve been here before and I know what comes next.

“I AM WHOLE.   I AM WHOLE.   I AM WHOLE.”

The water quiets.

To a gentle ripple…. A FLOW.

Each breath like a pearl dropping into a glassy lake center,

Sending a soft cascade of circles

OUTWARD.

I FEEL the vast loving SOURCE within me.  It IS me.

I am FULL.

I am WHOLE.

I AM.

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How hard is it to just be still?  For me it was so challenging.  I felt I had to be "doing" every minute of the day… if I wasn't exhausted by the end of the day, I'd feel guilty like I hadn't done enough.

Through meditation, I realized that I don't have to be "doing" all the time.  That just "being" leads us to recovery, discovery and tremendous growth.  

Here's a poem about discovering ourselves through meditaion.

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Linger in the In-Between

Written by Stacee Nault

Tucked in the middle

Of coming and going,

Of then and there,

Of behind and in front

Is a vast open space within.

Here there are meadows dotted with wild flowers,

Tremendous mountains, trickling streams,

Rooted trees and powerful seas.

Linger here.

Here there are

Stones to be turned,

Patterns to unlearn,

Voices to quiet,

Layers to peel back,

Flushing waves to cleanse,

Growth to discover,

Nourishment to consume

And light to awaken.

Linger HERE.

In the quiet.  In the still.

Here, there is no choosing,

No winning, no losing,

Or missing or doing.

There is nothing.

Only being, breathing and truly seeing.

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